CFB 2025 Week 6 Picks -- The Sporacle

Last Week: 4-7 Overall (-8.85u)

Overall: 37-20 (+36.47u)

Last Week Recap:

Not much to recap last week to be honest. Just an outright ransacking from Vegas last week. I mean, we couldn’t even hit West Virginia +25.5 at home in a damn teaser. And to Lincoln Riley and Mike Bobo, what the hell was that man?? You’ve got dual threat QBs and don’t use them whatsoever in the run game? And then you both lose your respective games? Matter of fact, Lincoln, go ahead and hand me that playcall sheet, buddy. That dumbass makes 10M+ a year and has unlimited private jet access just to lose to Illinois? I’d do that job for 1M a year and a standing reservation at Nobu Malibu. What a joke.

And no, the above Lincoln Riley outburst is not me deflecting from the fact that I ate the stinky, stinky Mike Norvell cheese once again. That Bama game bought Mini Mike about 3 weeks in my good graces, but after that pitiful performance against UVA last Friday, I snapped out of the trance and remembered why I am the staunchest Mini Mike antagonist of them all.

I’m disappointed in myself for letting Mini out of the doghouse for even 3 weeks, but watching Squirrel White do a “hold my nuts” emote in Doak Campbell Stadium while blasting Soulja Boy amidst the beatdown of the mighty mighty king of the SEC would hypnotize any sane human being.

Enough crying, I’m busy and these picks will be straight business this week. No jackassing around.

Let’s roll.

Picks:

Alabama -11.5 -110 vs Vandy (2.2u)

I love Diego Pavia. But the run is over, buddy. Bama has had this game circled all offseason and will put belt to ass for 60 minutes on Saturday.

This Bama team is one of the best in the country, and at this point it is more than fair to say that the Bama team that showed up in Tallahassee was not the same as the one that will show up at Bryant Denny Stadium tomorrow.

Look for the Tide to roll bigly in this one and keep their foot on the pedal for the entirety of the game.

Iowa State +1 -105 vs Cincinnati (2.1u)

This line looks like a trap because all the stupid computers have Cincy as a small favorite, but not be fooled – Iowa State wins this football game.

Cincinnati may look decent on paper to gen poppers, but a close loss to the Huskers and close win against the Jayhawks don’t tell me a lick.

Conversely, Iowa State handled business in Ireland, played smashmouth football with Iowa, and beat up a decent Arizona team last weekend.

Ride the Clones this week.

Louisville -6.5 -110 vs UVA (2.2u)

UVA comes in off one of the biggest wins in program history and this is just the epitome of a letdown spot. Also, QB Chandler Morris looked like he messed up his thumb pretty significantly last week, although he doesn’t appear on the injury report.

The Noles played probably the worst game they could’ve last week and still almost beat this mid team, and I don’t think Miller Moss and the Cardinals will play with their food and experiment this week.

Don’t look now, but if Louisville wins this game, they get a bye before they play Miami and have an extremely manageable road afterwards. Watch out for These Cardinals.

Nebraska -12.5 -110 vs Michigan State (2.2u)

Much like Doc, I too cannot get enough of these Huskers. An electric team that can give you feelings of love and hate all within a couple plays.

This Michigan State team is extremely poopoo peepee, and there may be some dysfunction in that locker room after HC Jonathan Smith has been rumored to be looking at the UCLA job.

Lay the points and back fake Patrick Mahomes in East Lansing.

Texas -5.5 -110 vs UF (2.2u)

If I have to get burned by anyone, I’ll just make for damn sure it isn’t Billy Napier.

How many weeks have we heard this Gator team is just oh so close to breaking through? DJ LLLagway himself claims the offense is about to “pop”. LMFAO. There’s a better chance of LLLagway’s big ass balloon head popping than a Billy Napier offense.

If you wanna talk about a team that actually could “pop”, look no further than the Longhorns. Arch Manning beat up on some JV players 2 weeks ago, and sometimes that’s just what you need to start feeling yourself.

Look for Steve Sarkisian to have Billy Napier punching air once again.

Miami -4 -110 vs Florida State (2.2u)

You wanna be back in my good graces, Mini Mike? Well it starts with showing me something. Prove to me that you aren’t just a mumbling sawed-off cheerleader and that this team actually respects you, Mini.

And it really shouldn’t be that hard, for what it’s worth. You have an overrated Miami team that really hasn’t played anyone worth a shit and that won its only “worthwhile” game on margins. This is Miami’s first road game, and it’s October. They haven’t faced any adversity. And best of all, their head coach is actually the worst in-game head coach in all of football.

Also, if I see Gus Malzahn come out in some dumbass formation in a crucial situation again, I might actually explode. Hey Gus, you don’t have to use every formation on your callsheet, buddy. Just a reminder.

And if I see Elijah Herring or that fraud James Williams back on the field come Saturday night, Tony White you will feel my wrath next week. That’s all I’ll say about that.

All in all, the Noles placed themselves on fraud alert. And I’m not taking them off unless proven otherwise.

Conclusion:

Apologies for the abbreviated write-up this week, been mighty busy these past few days and the Noles absolutely deflated my needle after last week’s performance.

Maybe the no nonsense tone of this write-up will change both mine and the Noles’s fortunes this week. See you next week.

Cheers,

The Sporacle