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Return of Spo? Rivalry Week CFB Picks



Update: Spo is BACK you fucking turkeys. Had to take a short hiatus as I got this new thing called a "job" (shit blows, would not recommend), but I'm back and I'm better. I hope you all didn't blow your bankroll on those dogshit NFL Thanksgiving games, because boy do I have some mortal locks for this Rivalry Week in CFB. Shoutout to Billy Tickets for holding it down and going on a absolute tear this season in my absence. Hope Spo Spo Bulldog doesn't fuck up his mojo. Let's get into the picks.

 

Florida State at UF / Seminoles -6.5 -110 (3u)


This is a pretty straightforward bet. The Seminoles are blatantly undefeated at 11-0 and the Gators are begging to make a bowl after Year 2 of the Billy Napier Autism Experiment. Losing Jordan Travis last week in a meaningless game was an absolute dagger for Noles fans everywhere, but we're still riding the Noles this week. Reasoning for this pick below:

- Noles have a 4th year QB who has been in the system and actually led the team to a come-from-behind victory against Louisville last season. The Gators have a mid 3-star Redshirt Freshman QB who's first meaningful snaps came last week in a heartbreaking loss to Mizzou. Advantage Noles.


- Mike Norvell has shown this year why he was the right man for the job. The culture he has established is very real, and this team is bought in. The same cannot be said for UF as Billy Napier is still trying to convince fans and the public he does not have an extra chromosome. The jury is still out on that question. Advantage Noles.


- Jordan Travis went down with a grotesque leg injury last week against North fucking Alabama (still not over it). The Seminoles have plenty of motivation to win this one for their guy. Conversely, UF lost a last second heartbreaker last week and if I had to guess, the team has completely quit and is out on Napier. This will be their last shot to go bowling, but with a bunch of players that will presumably hit the portal right when the clock hits 00:00? Advantage Noles.

 

VA Tech @ UVA / Virginia Tech ML -135 (2u)


Not gonna lie, I haven't watched much of either of these teams this year. I know UVA has a beast receiver, but that's about the extent of my knowledge on them. VT isn't absolute dogshit, but they also aren't good by any means.


With that being said, VT has the clear motivational edge here as they need this win to get to a bowl game. UVA has nothing to play for, and most certainly any of their decent players are already thinking about their next destination next year. This Brent Pry coached VT team has improved from last year, and I expect a fiery VT team to come out and get to a bowl for their 2nd year coach. Not fucking with the points here, I'll eat the juice.

 

Alabama @ Auburn / Auburn +13.5 -110 (1u)


This bet scares the shit out of me, but we're just gonna close our eyes and make it. Auburn got curbstomped last week by New Mexico State. That's fucking embarrassing. But the reason they got stomped is because they honestly didn't give a shit and were already dialed in on Bama. In the state of Alabama, the Iron Bowl is more important than attending your cousin-cousin wedding. Bama also hasn't fared well in Jordan-Hare Stadium, just 2-7 ATS there since 2005. Don't get me wrong, this bet is absolutely disgusting, but I'm gonna trust stripper aficionado Hugh Freeze and pray the Tigers cover. Don't look, just hit.

 

Fresno St @ SDSU / SDSU ML +170 (1u)


In all honesty, I know jack shit about either of these teams, but I did read that SDSU head coach Brady Hoke (fucking legend, btw) is retiring after this game and is pursuing a career in becoming Chris Christie's doppelgänger. We wish him all the best. I have zero analysis on this game other than I think the Aztecs come out motivated to get their coach one final win. Worth a little bet if you ask me. Go Tecs.

 

Arizona @ Arizona St / Arizona -9.5 -140 (2u)


Ahhh, the good ole battle between arguably the two sexiest fanbases in the country. I'll be tuning in to this one to try and catch a peak of the insane poon expected to be in attendance. 5 stars everywhere.


Anyways, we're laying the points here with Arizona strictly based on the fact that their new QB is an absolute stud. Noah Fifita is completing passes at a 74% clip since assuming the starter role, with 18 passing tuddies and only 4 picks. This Zona team has been completely different with Fifita at the helm, and I expect them to come out and give this Kenny "Cuck" Dilligham coached ASU team all they can handle. Lay the points and take one of the best up and coming QBs in CFB. Also make sure you have an extra pair of underwear near by if you watch this game, you're probably going to need it.

 

Cal @ UCLA / Cal +10.5 -135 (1u)


Again, another pick where I admittedly don't know too much about either team. One thing I do know though is that Chip Kelly is getting canned after the game, and there is lots of turmoil in that locker room right now. Cal is also sitting at 5 wins and is battling for a bowl game spot. Pure motivation bet here. Wish I had more for you on this, but I don't. Go Cal.

 

Games I Like But Hate The Spreads So Will Be Concocting ML Parlays:


Houston @ UCF / UCF ML

- UCF at home against a trash Houston team. 14 points is sketch so throw UCF ML in your parlays


Texas Tech @ Texas (Friday @ 7:30) / Texas ML

- I know Texas is banged up, but the talent discrepancy is too large here in my opinion. Texas might struggle early, but they'll pull this one out.

 

Degen Sweat Parlay: Texas ML/UCF ML/Arizona ML/Va Tech ML/FSU ML +289 (1u)

 

That's all I got this week, it's good to be back and I'll see everyone with your winnings next week for Conference Championship games. Go fucking Noles!!!


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