2025 CFB Futures Bets -- The Sporacle

Intro:

Hello friends, welcome to this tradition unlike any other. It is that time of year again where the anticipation of the new college football season is becoming increasingly palpable, and we all know what that means – prime betting season is nearly upon us.

After being forced to take a sabbatical after the emotional distress I endured at the hands of Mike Norvell last season (civil lawsuit is pending), I am back with a clear mind, a full heart, and a litany of College Football Futures bets that would put The Cheesecake Factory menu to shame.

We won’t be rehashing the abomination of a season Florida State put together last year, as I no longer remember it thanks to numerous successful hypnosis sessions and some help from my good friend Jack Daniel.  Gotta love that guy.

My associate Billy Tickets is also fired up for the season and you can rest assured knowing that he will be providing some absolute mortal nuclear whale mega max double-your-net-worth plays in the coming weeks. Man, I’d kill to have that guy in my corner.

Anyways, without any further ado, let’s dive into what we have to look forward to all season, and attempt to bankrupt the Seminole Tribe of Florida. Let's take a look at what my crystal ball has to say.

Conference Winners:

Clemson ACC Winner +105 (3u):

We start out with the squarest bet on the slate, but even sharps must be suckers sometimes in this game. Many are asking if Dabo Swinney is washed, or if his refusal to play the NIL/Transfer Portal game that every other top program is playing will come to rear its ugly head.

The answers are: 1) sure hope not, and 2) probably, but not this year.

The stars have aligned for this Clemson squad, as they have TEN All-ACC preseason first teamers, one of which is their now 4^th year starting quarterback Cade Klubnik – he has improved every season under OC Garrett Riley, and the complementary pieces around him have finally developed to give him a multitude of weapons to work with.

On defense, Clemson has two Top 10 NFL guys on the DLine in Peter Woods and TJ Parker, along with a Top 10 Linebacking core and some real star power in the secondary.

You can make this pick sheerly through the process of elimination, as no one in the ACC has even remotely comparable developed talent to this Clemson team.

As long they stay healthy, this team is an absolute lock to make it to Charlotte for the ACC Title game.

FSU ACC Winner +3000 (.2u):

You really thought I wasn’t going to eat the stinky, stinky Seminole cheese again? There’s a better chance of the homeless guy you gave 5 bucks to at your local highway exit not spending your donation on a 4-pack of Steel Reserve.

As homerish as this pick may appear on the surface, is it really that crazy? Take a look at this Noles schedule for a second.

If the Noles handle business against UVA and can find out a way to skirt by Miami the following week, the Noles’s path to Charlotte becomes much clearer – the only unwinnable game left on that ACC schedule is @ Clemson, but otherwise, it’s pretty feasible.

Pitt will be tougher than most assume, and @ NC State on a Friday night the week before UF is the epitome of a trap game, but if the Noles can beat Miami, they should be able to manage both of these teams, right? Right????

This bet could be dead by October 4^th, or you could find yourself with a sweaty ticket heading down the backstretch of November. Pay your tithes to the Church of Seminole and pray they show you some grace.

Baylor Big 12 Winner +800 (.5u):

I had the Baylor Bears pegged as B12 winners even before Dave Aranda compared recruiting to the “midget throwing” scene (his words, not mine) in Wolf of Wall Street a couple weeks ago. I didn’t really understand that analogy whatsoever, but anyone willing to quote Wolf of Wall Street at a press conference most likely subscribes to the idea of doing whatever it takes to win. That’s exactly what I look for in a head coach.

Baylor returns 18 starters and are loaded with upperclassmen in a wide open Big 12 this year. Quarterback Sawyer Robertson will have full control of this offense after showing frequent flashes last season.

They have the easiest B12 schedule with 5 home games, and if they can at least split one of Arizona State and Kansas State, they should be in the driver’s seat to get to the B12 Title game. With the longest odds out of the teams that I think can contend in this league, it's a no-brainer.

Penn State Big Ten Winner +250 (1u):

I will be the first to say I think Drew Allar just doesn't have it, and we have known for some time that James Franklin just cannot get it done in big games.

With that being said, this Penn State team has a good chance of playing for the Big Ten title. Allar obviously returns, and you can feel however you want about him, but you have to respect the weapons they’ve placed around him going into the 2025 season. Both Nick Singleton and Kaytron Allen return, and big time transfers Trebor Peña and Kyron Hudson at receiver should give him some great options on the outside.

You can’t dilute the significance of the loss of Abdul Carter, but bringing in Defensive Coordinator Jim Knowles from Ohio State is a massive, massive addition, who brings with him some animosity towards main competitor OSU after they wouldn’t ante-up to keep him around.

People forget that absent a boneheaded interception in the waning seconds of the semifinal game against Notre Dame, this Penn State squad probably would have been in the National Championship last year.

Big Game James knows it is now or never for him and his career, and if they can beat Oregon in University Park in September, the road to the B10 Title game is apparent.

Oklahoma SEC Winner +2500 (.3u):

Brent Venables’s seat is getting warmer and warmer by the day (because real football programs don’t accept 3 losing seasons in 4 years), and the fact that he knows this is blatant. The Sooners hit the portal hard this offseason, bringing in top QB transfer John Mateer (along with his OC at Wazzu) and top RB transfer Jadyn Ott.

Their WR and OL rooms are admittedly a little worrisome, but at a price of +2500 with their 2 toughest conference games at home, and playing no conference opponents coming off a bye, this is some sneaky value for a team that could be in the SEC Title game hunt until the last week of the season.

If John Mateer proves to be worth the offseason hype he has received, it’s hard to imagine this team not exceeding expectations. Brent Venables knows this season will determine his time as HC in Norman, and I expect the Sooners to scrap and claw to give themselves a chance to be in Atlanta come December.

Regular Season Win Totals:

UCLA Under 5.5 -145 (1.45u):

Head Coach DeShaun Foster didn’t have a panic attack at B10 media day this year, so that’s certainly a positive. Unfortunately, that’s where the positivity ends for the Bruins heading into 2025.

UCLA happily took Nico Iamaleava and his bluffing father off Tennessees’ hands earlier this year after UCLA already brought in transfer QB Joey Aguilar from App State (which may say something about Tennessee’s situation quite frankly).

Although Nico and his pajama pants may be entertaining, this Bruins team will not be, as their WR room is barren, and they lose their top 3 producers on defense from last season. Combine this with a coach that has displayed that he is totally overwhelmed, and the outlook is not good in Westwood.

Their schedule also does them no favors, with Utah in Week 1 and a sneaky matchup against Dan Mullen and UNLV in Week 2. Even if they split one of these two, I’m having a hard time seeing 5 more wins on this schedule. And if they lose their first 2 games, I’m afraid this train never leaves the station.

Arizona State Under 8.5 -125 (1.75u):

There seems to be this notion that Kenny Dillingham (who Billy Ticket has referred to as (“The QB Whisperer”)) is the next up and comer in the coaching world of college football.

Maybe I am just skeptical of him because we’ve seen other coaches have one really great season and then fall off a cliff (I’m looking at you, Mini Mike), but Kenny Dillingham does not move the needle for me whatsoever.

The guy won FIVE one-score games last season off the back of hidden gem in Cam Skattebo, and now everyone is seemingly anointing Kenny as the next great thing and even calling Sam Leavitt a Heisman contender (now I’m looking at you, Billy Tickets).

Let’s see what the “Heisman Contender” and Kenny look like when they don’t have the luxury of throwing against 1-on-1 coverage every play. In addition, their schedule is unfavorable with 3 tough conference away games (@ Baylor, @ Utah, @ Iowa State) and a tricky matchup with Mississippi State in Starkvegas in Week 2.

And Kenny, pump the brakes with the Adderall, brother. Your heart and liver are screaming for help.

Pitt Over 6.5 +120 (1u):

Man do I love me some Pat Narduzzi. A defensive wizard of sorts. But really, this line is a little disrespectful to the Panthers.

They started the year 7-0 last season before being ravaged by injuries and crawled to the finish line. Back at full health again, I expect Pitt to potentially make some noise in the ACC.

Eli Holstein showed he can be an upper-tier QB in this conference, and they return 3 of their top 4 receivers from a year ago. Watch out for Desmond Reid who is a Swiss Army knife on offense.

The defensive numbers from last season are skewed as they couldn’t get off the field after the injury bug plagued the team, but make no mistake about it – Pat Narduzzi will have this defense ready to play.

Their last 3 games are tough, but the Panthers have a legitimate chance of cashing this total by November. Do not sleep on Pat’s Panthers.

Tennessee Under 8.5 -135 (2u):

What can I say, this program is in absolute shambles. That might sound dull considering The Vols are coming off a CFB Playoff bid, but they’ve had the most tumultuous offseason of them all.

Everyone is aware of the Nico Iamaleava debacle (Re2pect to Coach Heupel for calling the bluff), but the fact that Heupel was so quick to swap QBs with UCLA tells you a lot about the situation in Knoxville. You don’t pay Nico and you bring in the guy from the school to which Nico is transferring, which says to me that the guy you’re bringing in can’t even be as good as Nico. Any port in a storm, I suppose.

The Vols were in a lose-lose scenario here, and respect to Coach Heup for actually having principles (looking at you again, Mini Mike), but this doesn’t sound ideal to me.

On top of the Nico chronicles, promising Safety Boo Carter also pulled a similar move and refused to show up to practice in an effort to “hold out”….but the real kicker? The Vols welcomed him back with open arms! I guess when the asking price is so enormous you can play the “principles” game, but when the asking price isn’t so enormous you can throw those principles out the window and negotiate.

Finally, the Vols are severely banged up at WR in early August -- they have 5 scholarship WRs practicing as of today. That's not promising.

While their schedule is Charmin soft, I feel like this locker room may be too far gone and we will see some quit in this team whenever they face adversity. I’m a seller on These Vols.

UVA Over 6.5 +110 (.5u):

Don’t love this one to be totally honest, but this is just a schedule play.

No Clemson, no Miami, and no SMU for the Cavaliers this year, who get Cal, Wake, and Stanford in ACC play. Add those 3 with their presumed auto wins against Coastal Carolina and Bill & Mary, they only need 2 more to cash.

I would expect the Cavs to be favored against Duke and Wazzu as well, so those wins should be “likely”.

Also 17^th year QB Chandler Morris should have a hefty Roth IRA balance by now, so expect him to play more freely with less pressure.

Arkansas Under 5.5 -140 (1.4u):

Arkansas is an extremely tough job, and I personally like Sam Pittman, but unfortunately I think the end is near for Sammy boy in Fayetteville.

Taylen Green at QB is an extremely intriguing talent, and I do think they’ll give a couple teams a good run for their money, but I don’t see the Pig Sooie having enough firepower to close out games.

They lose their TOP 8 receivers and brought in a gaggle of G5 transfers to try to alleviate the issue. I can tell you from experience that this is generally NOT a good idea. Additionally, they have FSU hand-me-down linebacker Stephen Dix manning the middle of the defense.

If that doesn’t tell you enough, they’ll be favored in no more than 4 games, and I think plucking another 2 wins from this schedule is too tall of a task. The Jerry Jones curse is alive and well, and unfortunately it has permeated into Fayetteville, too.

Iowa State Over 7.5 +100 (1.5u)

Matt Campbell and Iowa State are a match made in heaven. A mid-ass coach and a mid-ass school joining forces to put together a slightly less-mid product on the field. Chef’s kiss.

In all seriousness though, I think this is a great bet. Rocco Becht is one of the best QBs in the B12, they bring back their top 2 rushers, and have some elite size between TE and WR.

If you watched any ISU last year, you remember they were literally playing walk-ons at linebacker because of injuries, so this defense should be much improved and shouldn’t be gashed on the ground like they were in the back half of last season.

Bonus points because Campbell just got an extension and is no longer on the hot seat – we know he didn’t appreciate being told he was.

Colorado Under 5.5 +100 (1u)

This is just a commonsense play. Coach Prime and the Buffs lose virtually their entire offense, and obviously everyone is questioning Prime’s motivation due to the departures of his sons. I think this will be Prime’s last season coaching, if he even makes it the entire year, but we shall see.

Coach Prime’s high school recruiting is non-existent, and his transfer portal takes are ill-advised, and we should see him reap what he’s sown this season.

Kaidon Salter allegedly got pushed out of Liberty because he caused locker room issues, and their other top transfer get was Hykeem Williams, who quite literally broke his hand picking up a water bottle at practice in the spring. Yeah, I’m good on those guys.

This is the beginning of the end of Deion’s coaching career, and he needs to focus on his own health anyways.

Indiana Under 8.5 +110 (1u)

There’s only a few coaches I can think of that I love more than Curt Cignetti (I’m looking at you, Brent Key). Everyone knows him because of his unique persona and social media clips, but unfortunately snappy one-liners do not win football games.

It’s common knowledge that last year’s schedule was a joke, and while this year’s isn’t that much tougher, I think it’s tough enough for the Hoosiers to regress pretty significantly. They looked non-competitive in their only 2 worthwhile games last season, and this year I’d say they have 4 of those types in Illinois, Iowa, Oregon, and Penn St.

At a minimum, 3 of those will be losses, and one more loss will cash this. I hope Coach Cig proves me wrong, but he is on major Fraud Alert this season.

National Championship Winner:

Clemson (look for live if they lose Week 1 to LSU):

I already took Clemson +2000 a couple months ago, but I am aware that is no help to anyone else as the line has now plummeted to +800.

If I wanted to bet Clemson Natty and +800 is the best price out there, I would rather wait and hope they lose to LSU in Week 1 and hit them after that.

Penn State +800 (.5u):

See Penn State B10 Winner Note – it’s now or never for James, and everyone know it.

Pressure makes diamonds, but it also bursts pipes.

Texas +550 (1u):

I feel like it would be borderline malpractice not to have any skin in the game with Texas.

This team is so unbelievably loaded, it would be a total shock if they did not at least make it to the semifinals.

I myself am not an Arch Manning truther, but c’mon – it would be tough NOT to succeed with the pieces around him.

Their OLine is the only point of potential concern on this team, but otherwise they’re a virtual lock to be one of the last 4 teams standing. Once they get there, then you figure out what to do.

Heisman:

Unfortunately, the Heisman odds I am seeing are just so abysmal that I won’t be eating that cheese at the moment. Let’s see how the first couple weeks go with injuries and whatnot, and we can pick something up live.

Final Thoughts:

Go ahead and lock these in and consider yourself up already heading into the season. Will have a Week 0 Outlook coming shortly along with Billy Tickets.

Stay Sharp.

~ The Sporacle