Friends, Readers, and especially Haters, Only a truly catastrophic and life-altering event could have pulled me from my lair to address the masses in the year of 2026. I am currently in a 12-round heavyweight bout with the Parol Evidence Rule and the Erie doctrine, and quite frankly, I am getting my ass kicked. So time is of the essence. Yet here I stand before you all. Of course the reason for my brief return is of no surprise; after battling arch nemesis Mini Michael Kelly