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Florida State Football: What Happened?

Florida State Football: What Happened?

 

This is just a brutal article to write, and it’s going to be a long one, so strap in.

 

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past 2 weeks, you most likely have seen or heard of Florida State’s Football Team – and not for good reason.

 

After a miraculous 13-0 season and ACC Championship last year, led by leaders like Jordan Travis and Jared Verse, this team has fallen off a cliff, with seemingly no bottom in sight.

 

The question that everyone is asking: how did this happen? How could you possibly go from an undefeated team last year, to possibly the worst team in the already atrocious conference? Yes, there was some drop-off to be expected, but after seemingly “reloading” in the portal, and the alleged “added fire” to prove ourselves after the infamous CFB Snub, certainly there was much more to be expected than what has actually transpired.

 

It’s a great question to ask if you aren’t a FSU fanatic like myself, and I have yet to see the media provide any sort of truthful in-depth breakdown – I understand there are politics involved with the FSU-related media, and they can’t just pull back the curtain on the program and tell it how it REALLY is– luckily, I am not handcuffed by politics, and I believe Noles fans deserve answers.

 

I mean, after all, the fans are the ones that support this program, both emotionally and financially.

 

This article may be a little scattered as there is just so much to cover, but I’ll do my best to address just some of the issues I see and know.

 

Make sure your seatbelt is on, we’re going to hit some turbulence.

 

 

Coaching:

 

Let’s just start with the coaching staff, as that is the easiest to dissect.

 

Most of this staff has been here at FSU since the start of Mike’s tenure in 2020, Norvell has not fired a single assistant coach since being here. Not a single one. He may have pushed coaches out like Marcus Woodson and Chris Marve, but in reality, they just upgraded to better gigs elsewhere.

 

If you don’t follow college football, it is VERY uncommon for a good program to retain the majority of their coaches over a 5 year span – the good ones are usually poached by better schools or get a better position somewhere else, or they are fired.

 

With that being known, isn’t it a little weird no one has really poached any of our assistants?

 

Kenny Dillingham is the only one that was truly “poached”, and he really only left because he was given the opportunity to call plays at Oregon -- something he did not do under Mike Norvell.

 

Chris Marve and Marcus Woodson were encouraged to look for other positions, and they found them and left, so I don’t consider that “poached”

 

So what does this say about our assistants? Are they just so loyal to Mike that they would never leave?

 

As nice as that sentiment sounds, the answer is simple: no one fucking wants them – and this season has finally exposed why.

 

Let’s just go down the list:

 

QB Coach Tony Tokarz:

 

FSU media absolutely glazed this man as an “up and coming superstar” and that he would likely not be in Tallahassee for long – that’s total bullshit

 

Ever since Dillingham left, there seems to be no development at the quarterback position – Jordan Travis naturally progressed in the 2nd half of the 2022 season, but come 2023? I’d argue he regressed from 2022 form, with even better weapons around him.

 

If you don’t believe that, then just take a look at this year – we took in DJU (I’ll talk about this fraud in more depth later), and it was a known fact that he had accuracy and mobility issues – however, many dubbed Mike Norvell and Tokarz the “QB whisperers”, and that they could certainly improve DJU – I mean, just look at what they did to Jordan Travis!

 

I’m being generous when I say those “QB Whisperer” claims can be put to rest. I’ll tackle the DJU dilemma itself later, but for now, let’s just say he has been bad. Very, very bad. Whatever people thought Norvell and Tokarz would fix, obviously didn’t get fixed.

 

Tokarz did bring in Brock Glenn and Luke Kromenhoek, both blue chip QBs, so he’s not worthless on the recruiting trail, but on the field? He's actually hurting the QBs more than he's helping.

 

RB Coach David Johnson:

 

RB Coach is probably the least important on-field position, but it’s a great spot to have an ace-in-the-hole recruiter. Unfortunately, David Johnson is not that.

 

Some will say “deh deh, but Kam Davis!” Yeah, Kam Davis was going to be a Seminole if Satan himself was his coach – Johnson didn’t do a lick to convince Kam to come here, he was coming no matter what

 

And what’s even worse? The guy is our recruiting coordinator – the only guy he’s legitimately recruited that’s worth a shit is Destyn Hill, who was presumably locked up in a Witness Protection Program for 2 years before even getting to campus.

 

Needless to say, this isn’t good from your “recruiting coordinator”, and certainly unacceptable at a place like Florida State

 

 

WR Coach Ron Dugans:

 

I can’t really rag on Ron Dugans on the recruiting trail – he brought in our first 5 star WR in Hykeem Williams in what seems like forever, and he’s got a very nice WR class lined up for 2024 – of course, these kids will all bail after watching our putrid on field performance, but that’s not on Dugans

 

What you absolutely can question, however, is his ability to develop.

 

Darion Williamson and Kentron Poitier are great examples – these are 2 guys that have been in the program for FIVE YEARS. You would assume they would HAVE to be in-line for starting roles in an absolutely barren WR room, right? Wrong.

 

Both players have flashed a few times in their careers, but they have never done anything consistently. Both players have great specs, yet Dugans hasn’t been able to get the best out of them in FIVE YEARS. That’s the definition of not developing.

 

 

TE Coach Chris Thomsen:

 

Coach Thomsen is just not a P4 level coach – go take a look at his background – nothing he had done warranted him getting a job at Florida State, and his product on the field has shown just that.

 

He doesn’t recruit worth a shit, and his players’ play on the field might be even worse.

 

We’ve got Brian Courtney playing as TE2 right now -- that's really all you need to know – this position is an absolute nightmare

 

 

OLine/”OC” Alex Atkins:

 

Maybe the biggest fraud on this entire list.

 

FSU media told us all over the past 2 years that “another school is going to come and make Atkins a head coach”. Please, I fucking beg them to do so.

 

This guy lands one or two blue-chips a year on the OLine, and everyone automatically assumes we’re set at the position for the future. Newsflash buddy, OLine is the most important position to develop outside of Quarterback, and Atkins has failed to do so WITH A SINGLE PLAYER. IN FIVE YEARS. It’s more than evident that the guy can’t develop worth a shit if you’ve watched FSU’s OL play the last 2 seasons.

 

This one is probably the most frustrating as we had been led to believe he was some sort of “gem” on staff, when in reality he is just a fat, smelly pile of steaming dogshit.

 

And you’re not an “OC” if you don’t call the plays, so miss me with all that.

 

DE Coach/ST Coordinator John Papuchis:

 

We need to distinguish the difference between JP as a DE Coach and Special Teams Coordinator.

 

Special teams, very good – don’t have any gripes there.

 

Defensive End, very ass – many gripes here.

 

Outside of Jermaine Johnson and Jared Verse, who we seemingly sold playing time and massive NIL amounts to, this guy hasn’t done a single thing for the DE room. He's the reason we had to pay Pat Payton a king's ransom to stay in Tallahassee, because we literally didn't have a playable player behind him

 

In regards to recruiting, he is a mortal cuck (see Nyjalik Kelly and Keldric Faulk recruitments), and on the field, the players he does have are absolutely abysmal – I understand he may not have the most talented players to work with, but who’s fault is that at the end of the day? His own.

 

 

DT Coach Odell Haggins:

 

You’ll never hear me say a bad word about Odell Haggins – this guy is hands-down the biggest Nole I know, and he consistently does more with less.

 

The issue for Odell is that his Bobby Bowden style recruiting techniques don’t hit home with the Gen Z retards these days, hence the lack of talent we see at the position.

 

He’s probably the best developer of DTs in the country, so you want him involved with the program undoubtedly – I just wonder if there’s a better role for him that doesn’t involve recruiting.

 

 

LB Coach Randy Shannon:

 

Really not going to go into this one much. You’ve seen the LB play on the field and the lack of talent he brings in at the position. It’s all bad. Very, very bad.

 

But what did you expect from a guy that’s been passed around the state of Florida like a sorority girl on spring break. Get him the fuck out.

 

DB Coach Patrick Surtain Sr:

 

The only coach on this list I don’t have any qualms with, and what do you know, he isn’t from the original cast of coaches put in place in 2020.

 

Guy recruits hard and seemingly develops as well. He’ll likely get poached for a DC job at a better school once the wheels are completely off.

 

 

DC Adam Fuller:

 

This guy is just a straight loser. Once again, take a look at his background, and tell me what makes you think he should be a P4 Defensive Coordinator, let alone the DC at a school like Florida State.

 

He’s an absolute zero on the recruiting trail, and his scheme in game might be even worse, if that’s possible.

 

I mean, there’s purported highschool coaches all over message boards just astonished with what we’re deploying out there on defense. I don’t think that’s a good sign.

 

So what does all this mean? Certainly we can fire almost everyone and clean house, right?

 

Well, realistically, I don’t know, and this is where the real issues lies – Mike Norvell just extended every single one of these coaches. That’s the biggest issue, and is honestly the biggest red flag to me surrounding Norvell.

 

Everyone and their mothers knew this staff was lacking recruiting firepower – I mean, we couldn’t even grab a Top 10 Class after our best season in a decade, IN THE STATE OF FLORIDA.

 

The development aspect was completely masked by our lucky hits on portal additions, but when you don’t hit on your portal guys and are forced to play the players you recruited from the highschool ranks (like this year), the lack of development rears its ugly head. And it for damn sure has through these first 2 games.


Did Mike Norvell really not think there was anything wrong with this staff? He just gave them all extensions, so seemingly no, he didn’t, and that’s where the issue is.

 

You can debate if Mike is too loyal/too nice/blah blah blah – the fact of the matter is, he was unable to identify the deadweight on this staff and do something about it.

 

And when you have missed portal players plus inadequate highschool recruiting, this is unfortunately the result you’re left with.

 

Neglecting high school recruiting like a red-headed step-child has come to bite us in the ass this year, and hopefully that’s a major wake-up call for Norvell. If it’s not, we are beyond fucked.

 

When your head coach can’t tell his ass from his ballsack, that’s a major, major issue. And I’m afraid Norvell still hasn’t found his scrotum.

 

 


Culture and NIL

 

One of the most obvious issues I see is the lack of culture, and I’m going to parlay it into our NIL issues

 

There is no effort on the field. There is no visible “fire” in these players. The only guys that I’ve seen that give a shit, such as Blake Nichelson and Kam Davis, are the ones that genuinely wanted to be Noles.

 

The likes of Josh Farmer, Darrell Jackson, and Pat Payton, you know, guys that are eating up a great portion of your NIL budget, could not give less of shit if they wanted to.

 

All the while, these guys were pegged to be your “leaders” of the team this season? Are you fucking serious?

 

You mean guys like three names above, who publicly threatened to leave multiple times if they didn’t get a pay bump, were supposed to come back and be the leaders and all would be fine?

 

How do you think the rest of the locker room feels when they see these guys, driving around in their Lambo trucks, wearing absurd cuban chains and thousand dollar shoes like they’re fucking Bossman DLow, and then come out and half-ass it on the field? If you’re a young guy on this team, you’re thinking “so these are really our leaders?”

 

I’m not telling anyone how to spend their money, but when you combine that flashy lifestyle and a complete lack of effort on the field, I think the resounding vibe in the locker room has to be “what the hell are we doing here”. And rightfully so.

 

And this is where Ingram Smith comes in.

 

If you don’t know, Ingram is somehow the head of Florida State’s NIL Collective, The Battle’s End.

 

Let me drop his resume here, and you decide if you think this man is qualified to run a multi-million dollar business using OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY.



And the real kicker? The guy didn't even attend Florida State! What an absolute joke!


“But Spo, Ingram doesn’t recruit and scout the players – he just gives the money to Mike!”

 

Yes, and THAT is the issue.

 

Ingram is essentially the most important "booster" in regards to FSU Athletics – he controls millions of dollars that decide the fate of our athletic programs – and with that, he has some serious, serious leverage -- the issue is, he doesn't know how to use it.

 

And because he has this leverage, he has the influence to make changes – as I mentioned earlier, everyone has known for years this staff is lacking severely on the recruiting trail, but what does Ingram do? He keeps feeding this atrocious product and ask no questions.

 

Just on a moral level, how are you possibly giving OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY to these deadweight coaches, that you know for an absolute fact will just piss it away? He has enabled this train wreck to keep rolling, plain and simple.

 

I mean, he’s really like an elected official for Noles fans, and should be acting in the best interest of Nole fans, right? After all, its OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY that he is collecting and handing over to Norvell & Co.. Would you not feel like a mortal scumbag if you knowingly were giving OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY to a cause you knew was worthless? Because that's exactly what is happening when he hands this money over to our deadbeat assistants.

 

Mike is certainly the main culprit for the woes on the recruiting trail, but Ingram’s hands aren’t clean either – he has enabled this dogshit recruiting staff to keep doing what they are doing, and that is a major issue.

 

And the cherry on top that’s being revealed throughout message boards everywhere, although I thought this was public knowledge already, is that DJ Ukelele got paid nearly ONE MILLION DOLLARS for whatever the hell you want to call the product he’s put on the field in just 8 short quarters of play.

 

And let me let you in on a little secret – no other Power 4 school was even looking at this fat oaf of a QB in the transfer portal – he was between playing for FSU, and moving to Waikiki to open up DJ’s Surf Shack – and of course, he chose the former

 

With that being known, how in the absolute fuck did we end up paying this fraud anywhere near ONE MILLION DOLLARS – apparently there was no negotiating, and no use of leverage (there it is again) to even try to get this price down

 

The kid literally had no other option, yet his miscreant father “Big Dave” demanded this absurd figure of money, and FSU just obliged. No pushback whatsoever.

 

It’s very clear that no one inside the football program and no one associated with the collective have any sort of business acumen, at all. And that’s a major problem.

 

And just to tie it back into the culture issue, DJU is probably the worst Quarterback in the country you could have brought in to retain any sort of culture you had established.

 

The guy is admittedly not a vocal leader and an introvert – I’m sorry, but to be a P4 starting quarterback, those are prerequisites for the job. Again, Norvell is mostly to blame here for not identifying this issue, and neglecting to look at other QBs, but as a 5th year senior, to have no leadership qualities? That's unacceptable.

 

While his play on the field has been deplorable, it’s what he’s NOT doing in the locker room that is hurting this team the most.

 

I can personally guarantee that when Brock Glenn or Luke Kromenhoek are inevitably inserted at QB, you will see some more fight out of this team – we will still be ass, don’t get me wrong, but we will at least see an uptick in effort.

 

 

 

Future Outlook:

 

This is where things get really, really scary.

 

“So Spo, you bitch about everything, but what can we do about it?”

 

The short-term answer is not very much. We can try to rid ourselves of the deadweight staff, but considering we just upped all of their pay, I don’t know how financially feasible that is for the university. But you must get rid of at least 3-4 assistants, and that’s really a non-negotiable.

 

Mike Alford, the Athletic Director, also just extended Mike Norvell through the year 2031 to the tune of about 10M a year.

 

I wouldn’t fire Mike anytime soon anyways, but if you were to do so, you would owe 85% of his contract. I’ll let you do the math on that, but I’ll just tell you right now, FSU does not have that money to shell out now, and they won’t have it anytime soon.

 

And that’s where the long term answer gets even worse.

 

As I said above, we’re locked in for Norvell for the foreseeable future. And that could be a problem, if he turns out not to be “the guy”. And unfortunately, that’s the direction I’m currently leaning, but you can't just give up all hope on a guy that did resurrect your program, albeit for one year.

 

But the bigger issue that seemingly no one is considering, is that FSU is issuing over 300 million dollars in bonds to pay for stadium renovations and football facility upgrades. Yes, bonds.

 

With these “renovations” that I have been vehemently opposed to for years, they are multiplying the price of tickets – FSU and Alford are moving towards an “NFL model”, where they want to attract “corporate sponsors” to purchase the new “suites”, while completely pricing out the normal fan like me and you.

 

Two parts here – one, what corporate entity is going to schlep to Tallahassee, FL to watch the product we’ve seen these first two games, or even give these tickets to their clients? I mean, you could offer me free box seats for this season and I still wouldn’t make the trek to Tallahassee to watch this bullshit. So what makes you think some Regional President of a large company would?

 

Secondly, what average fan is going to pay for even the worst seat in the house, when that seat costs $300+? A $300 ticket, plus a $700 a night hotel room at the Holiday Inn, plus food and travel expenses, that’s the average person’s paycheck spent in one weekend – and to watch THIS????

 

I’m telling you right now, and you can save/screenshot/bookmark this, whatever, this stadium “renovation” will be the nail in the coffin for FSU if play on the field does not change. And I’m not talking just decades of misery like Nebraska, I’m talking the dissolution of the program. Bankruptcy will be staring us in the face if on-field results do not change, and you can thank Mike Alford for that.

 

You would have had a hard-enough time getting people in the seats to watch a great team with the way prices are going to be, but with a team like this year’s? We’ll be lucky if we have more people in attendance than a Miami home game.

 

 

Conclusion:

 

I haven’t really talked about individual player performance in here, because it is much, much deeper than that. This cannot be pinpointed to a singular player or even position group -- this is a deep-rooted, systemic issue.

 

You can have all the talent in the world (which we don’t), but if you don’t have the right coaches and leadership in place (which we also don’t), you will be left with a team looking like the a Jimbo team post-Jameis. And Noles fans would kill for that type of team this year.

 

Our issue is, we don’t have any of it. None of it. We don’t have the talent acquisition piece, we don’t have the development piece, and we certainly don’t have the leadership piece.

 

Mike Norvell needs to make decisions, and he needs to make them quickly. He needs to start by telling DJU and his father to pack their bags and go open up a Poke Bowl shop back on the west coast – DJ certainly has the funding to do so now.

 

And he doesn’t need to make a QB change because the play is so bad (although it is), he needs to make a change for the chance to breathe some life into this team

 

Brock Glenn is beloved by his teammates, and I’m sure having to go play with the big retard at QB they have the past 2 games has not helped the team’s spirits – put the kid in the fucking game and watch how his teammates play for him.


Outside of QB, a full-on youth movement needs to be deployed.


No more Farmer. No more Jackson. No more Lundy. No more super senior bullshit. Play the kids you recruited from the highschool ranks -- although they might not be the most talented guys you have, they actually bought into your program and what you were selling, which can't be said for the names listed above.


A message needs to be sent, and order needs to be restored. We don't care who you are, what you've done in the past, or what we've paid you -- if you're not "in", then you can GTFO.

 

In regards to coaching changes, Randy Shannon can get lost yesterday. Move assistant Ernie Sims into his role in the interim, and deal with the other deadweight at season’s end.

 

As for Norvell, you can’t jump ship on him, neither financially nor emotionally. The man did develop some sort of culture, although JTrav might’ve been the player in the culture building, but Mike does care about this program. That’s not questionable. He is not a Jimbo nor a Willie that literally could not have cared less.


What Norvell does need to do, however, is take a good hard look in the mirror and figure out the coach he wants to be -- does he want to continue being taken advantage of by recruits (see Travis Hunter/KJ Bolden recruitments) and players (see Farmer, DJack) and assistants (see all deadweight assistants)? Or does he want to build a program that is at least respected? Only he can answer that and make these changes, and I pray that he does.

 

This doomsday-esque post was not fun to write, but Noles fans deserve to know what the hell is going on with this program without the FSU media sugarcoating, and how we got to this point.


I've endured 25 years of seemingly bottomless pits, and I've also been all the way up to the mountaintops -- true Seminoles won't quit on this team or coach because of two games, but that doesn't mean it is free from criticism.

 

So to answer the question “what happened”, that’s what the fuck happened.

 

Spo Out.

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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